What's Next?

Here I am, on a surprisingly mellow night for a Monday during basketball season. It is day one of intramural sports from a participant standpoint, and on a day where I would normally be assisting officials, helping staff or officiating, I am reading a book from class. The book is Transforming Public Leadership for the 21st Century. It has occurred to me how amazing it is that one book with so many words can say so little to me. I suppose it is the lack of passion for standard issue books or my undeniable loathing of the modern education system, or just the lackluster effort that is put into a program that makes me wonder, what's next.

When I started school in kindergarten and made it to first grade, I remember thinking, will I ever get to sixth grade? When I made it to junior high, I thought, will I ever finish school? When I finally graduated from high school, I knew everything would be different. I knew I would find the girl of my dreams, I would land my dream job at age 23, and everything would be perfect. When I was a freshman in college, I could not wait for all this to happen. Where am I now, you ask?

I am 24, clueless as to a specific area that I will pursue, single, and just trying to get my foot in the door of a program. But what does that mean? Have I failed? If I did is that a good thing, since you have to fail before you succeed? I guess it could mean many things, and they could be different for you and me. On the flip side, I never would have dreamed I would have went to grad school, gone to school for two additional years, be living in Georgia and be in a position that I am now.

I suppose I am saying that life isn't perfect. Sure everyone has an opinion on what they think is right and how to do this or that, but in the end it is really about the decisions we make individually. At the end of the day, if we can look in the mirror and be proud of who we are, is that not enough? Success can be measured in multiple ways and maybe if we were not so critical or so superficial we might see that is okay to be who we are. Sometimes we are so consumed in status that we forget to think about our own happiness. I think about a line from the show Scrubs, when an old lady was dying and asked J.D. about his "Bucket List." One thing she asked him was, "How many times have you lied in the grass and just done nothing?" It is such a simple concept but do we ever stop to consider it in this world we live? I guess it's officially time to "stop, and smell the roses." Maybe, just maybe, if I do that, the rest will all fall into place.